Writing about Difficult Experiences in My Autism Memoir (Podcast + Post)

What is the difference between memoir and autobiography? What is the actual point of sharing our experience? What happens when that experience is difficult or dark?

This episode of the podcast talks about all of these questions with a focus on my experience with difficult material. So I wanted to answer the first couple of questions, below, in text format.

PLEASE NOTE: I recorded this episode before I received my ADHD diagnosis. Now my memoir is an AuDHD one.

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Memoir vs. Autobiography

An autobiography and a memoir are not the same thing.

An autobiography focuses on a person’s entire life. Memoir covers a slice of life in a topical way. While that slice can span decades, it should reflect the memoir’s overarching topic or theme. What doesn’t reflect the theme is extraneous.

For me, this was the first sticking point (more about that in the podcast), because even though I was writing an autism memoir, I found it impossible to talk about autism in isolation.

Knowing what did and didn’t relate to the autism theme was tricky. In some instances (like trauma) the relationship was clear, in others (like supernatural experience) it was not.

I had trouble figuring out what was relevant and what wasn’t, so I just decided to write the thing.

Then I got stuck again.

Sharing Our Experience

According to NYT’s journalist, memoirist, and author of The Memoir Project, Marion Roach, there’s a reason why we share our personal experience in memoir. And that reason isn’t catharsis or getting even with people or even making sense of things.

It’s illustrating a point.

In memoir our experiences are the anecdotes that illustrate the theme. And there’s no doubt that Roach knows how to make her life experience work that way.

It’s worth stressing, however, that Roach isn’t an amateur and the writing samples shared in The Memoir Project reflect that.

My writing is sloppy compared to just about any NYT level journalist, but I do feel that has worth. Whether or not, I can create a readable memoir remains to be seen.